Picture of the Day

..and that's how you appreciate art. Seriously. Couldn't they just buy a fucking postcard?

[via Vagabondish]

Air Traffic controller required for Isles of Scilly - Blind candidates especially welcome

There's affirmative action, there's over-eager political correctness, and then there's just doing something wilfully stupid to get your rain-soaked islands back on the news agenda.

The RNIB are, perhaps predictably, in favour of the provision of a Braille application form for potential Air Traffic Contollers. Realistically though, anyone without 20/20 vision has no chance of getting the job. I hope.

The islands have a tiny airfield (and I use the word advisedly, it's grass rather than concrete) used for small passenger planes ferrying the over-optimistic to the tiny outcropping of damp campsites and overpriced tea-shops at the bottom left-hand corner of your British Isles map.

Keri Jones, the controller of Radio Scilly, tried hard to introduce a positive spin on the non-news story.

“We have had loads of calls about it and people generally find it quite funny. The islands are always at the cutting edge of innovation, so it would certainly be something for Scilly to have the world's first blind air traffic controller.”

The emphasis is mine. As are the words 'Ha ha ha'

If innovation is switching off the hot water in your campsite's showers because there's only been eight inches of rainfall in the last week then yes - The Isles of Scilly are our very own Epcot Centre.

Comeuppance

"I hope this will end what has been over recent years an exercise in deceit by some airlines which try to con the travelling public into believing they are buying a very cheap ticket when the opposite is true."

Get these M----------F--------------- ticks off my M----------F--------------- plane!

That's half the trouble with aeroplanes. They keep going to warm places where all the ghastly bugs and slitherery things live. And every now and then some of them decide to hitch a ride.

How to make a minor aeroplane accident exciting: Just add celebrities

And people say Victoria Beckham is no fun: Thsi story wouldn't warrant a mention were it not for the pyjama-clad Posh.

It was then that the horrifying scale of the disaster really hit home for Victoria — she realised she was wearing standard-issue aircraft pyjamas and no make-up.

Sex on the beach isn't just a cocktail..

..it's a guaranteed 6-year prison sentence in some of those warm countries where one might be tempted to take one's clothes off.

Sex outside marriage is illegal in the United Arab Emirates, as is cohabitation, adultery, homosexuality and loads of other fun stuff.

Now if you stay at home, you can have sex as often as you like, as long as you've got a willing co-sexer. Or one of those internets with all the naked people on instead of this crappy one with just jokes and stuff.

Sure it's not as warm, but you can always keep your socks on, can't you?

The ideal holiday - buried in sand

I don't pretend to understand any art after about 1960. Least of all this spot of craziness.

We used to use the phrase 'publicity stunt' which covered most of the actions now classified as 'raising awareness'. You don't have to have a point to 'raise awareness' - you just need to do something crazyass and shout 'look at me'; quite a bit.

Still. This chap's 'raised' my 'awareness' of fruitcakes burying themselves in sand, an activity that I thought had died out after the filming of 'Carry on, follow that camel'. You live & learn, eh?