America: One more reason not to go

See this thing? It's a Tarantula Hawk Wasp.

Not only does it have an unsettling appearance, it has one of the most painful stings of any insect. Rating a 4.0 on the marvellous and memorable Schmidt Pain Index the sensation of having fallen foul of this vast and intimidating insect has been described as "...immediate, excruciating pain that simply shuts down one's ability to do anything, except, perhaps, scream."

These creatures range over a vast territory from Argentina to Oregon. You might want to print this post out to have ready next time one of your relatives floats the topic of Disneyland.

Everywhere's abroad, depending on where you start

So before you start thinking "Ooh! London! That's not far! let's go there!" I'd like you to remember that many, indeed all, of the putative 'attractions' are not only wildly disappointing when you actually get down to it, they're also ruinously expensive.

Now, the unequalled joy of sunning yourself in your garden and sucking down a cold beverage isn't absolutely free, but the expenses engendered (mortgage/rent, TV licence to cover use of radio, six-pack of Heineken mini-kegs) are ones you would bear irrespective of whether you fall into the holiday trap or not.

Something to think about, I'm sure you'll agree.

The Friday Comic

First in a series of one, at most. There's no way I could pass this wonderful item up though. Click to embiggen:

via the always-marvellous Again with the Comics

The 10 most disappointing tourist sights..

..as enumerated by the fine people at Virgin Travel Insurance - who one might think would be in favour of people going on holiday, rather than pointing out what a colossal let-down it tends to be,

Anyway, by way of the Daily Telegraph, here they are:

• 1: The Eiffel Tower
• 2: The Louvre
• 3: Times Square
• 4: Las Ramblas, Barcelona
• 5: Statue of Liberty
• 6: Spanish Steps, Rome
• 7: The White House
• 8: The Pyramids
  
• 9: The Brandenburg Gate, Berlin
• 10: The Leaning Tower of Pisa

And, demonstrating that you don't have to go as far as all that to be disappointed, here are the 10 crummiest attractions in the UK:

• 1: Stonehenge
• 2: The Angel of the North
• 3: Blackpool Tower
• 4: Lands' End
• 5: The Princess Diana Memorial Fountain
• 6: The London Eye
• 7: Brighton Pier
• 8: Buckingham Palace
• 9: The White Cliffs of Dover
• 10: Big Ben.

Isn't it nice to be special?

According to this more or less completely made up survey the British are the worst holidaymakers on Earth.

If we're that bad at it, perhaps we should just stop.

If you're the kind of person that likes specious surveys this one's still going! And it's got a map & everything!

Some topical funnies from Beau Bo D'Or

Extremely droll, I thought.

Our German cousins inadvertently prove my point

Everywhere's abroad for someone.

Stung by the recent case of a British couple winning compensation from their tour operator because the hotel they were sent to was full of Germans (and decades of lazy gags from British end-of-the-pier comics) the mighty German nation has risen up to complain that Brits on holiday are a bit of a nuisance.

Bild reports this morning the shock news that many British holidaymakers cluster in the same kind of places that Germans favour, and that when on holiday Britons, like Germans, have a tendency to act like asses.

Which is why I keep telling people that holidays are not only bad for the environment and bad for your personal economy, they're bad for your mind. Even the best of us will be tempted to put on a straw hat and act like a cock after their bloodstreams have been compromised by the judicious admixture of an excess of San Miguel.