Don't bother listening to the 'Important Safety Demonstration'

You can forget the little laminated card too: The escape slides won't work if it ever comes to it, and the lifejacket's probably got a hole in.

Airlines are allowed to skimp on safety procedures, because the safety regulators are their pals. The passengers - not so much.

Still, there's a sweet little teddy bear in a flying jacket you can buy from the dog-eared duty free catalogue, so it's not all bad...